Father,
Ive always been ashamed of my last name. i hated it soo much. i hated the fact that you werent there for me. i was asked tonight if i loved you. i do. even though you missed out on most of my life, what little we have now i am thankful for. im sorry i havent been around lately. i hope you dont think i dont want to talk to you... ive been neglecting a lot of people. ive been so wrapped up in my own life and drama that ive forgotten everyone else.

Mothers,
I know you guys expect soo much of me. im sorry for letting you down. i love you guys soo much, and im sorry that you have to watch me learn the hard way all the time. im sorry that you guys dont have too much to be proud of. i passed, but only with a C.

My Dear Friends,
Im sorry for pushing you guys away. I know you guys love me and only want the best for me.

Kiri,
I love you girl, with all my heart. I know youre trying to help. Its just hard for me to listen to all the negative stuff, but its not your fault. Dont think i dont wanna talk to you because i dont wanna hear it or that i dont care or the things you say dont matter and dont cross my mind, because they do. They do all the time. Youre always right. Always right about everything. I have that doubt, just like you do, and im sorry, but again and again, i must learn the hard way. I know you get mad when youre asked for advise and the person doesnt take it. Im sorry. ive been that person. Thats why ive been so distant and vague with whats going on. I dont want to hurt you.

Ryan and Liz and Louise,
Thank you for being there for me and making me feel soo much better. Thank you

Jordan,
Id do anything for you. I care about you soo much and i want you to be happy. I cannot be happy if you arent happy. I dont want you to feel like youre in the middle. I know you are and i am soo deeply sorry for it. I will try my best. I know ive got issues, and i know you have been patient with me, as i must be with you too. All i ask for is understanding. Please, i dont want to lose you.

There were 3 more people i wanted to write to, one of them wouldnt ever see it, one i wrote and it was long, but i deleted it, and one i actually sent it to her.